I am so excited to be going home.  And I really just want to stay there.  I know I can’t.  But I can’t imagine any other place in the world being home.  I know I said that in 5th grade when I moved from Orange to Corona…but I don’t mean a specific house this time.  Not even a specific city.  I want need to be in Southern California.  Sure, I want to live in other places too, but not forever.  I always want to end up back in SoCal.  Or, if I become a big B’way composer (ha) I want to have a home in SoCal for, yanno, life, and a studio apartment in NYC for work.  But, again, ha.

Last year I just figured I was missing the people, and not the location.  But that’s not entirely true.  Yes, I miss the people terribly.  But I feel like if Kristin and James and Markis and Nick weren’t in Southern Cal I’d still want to be there.  It’s just in my blood.

And a part of me really wants my Dad to find a job in Socal.  Even if we can’t keep the house.  Even if we have to move to Rancho or some crap.  I just really don’t want to have to leave again.  As much as I love everyone up here at school, I don’t really want to come back.  Not 100% anyway, and not to stay.  Is that horrible of me?  I hope it isn’t.  I don’t totally care if it is though.  That’s just the way I feel.

In October I thought that was the last time I was going to be in So Cal for a long time.  And I thought it was the last time I would see James in a long time.  And I thought I wouldn’t see Kristin or Markis for like a year or something.  And so many other people.  I am so ridiculously happy that I get to see them again.  Also, and I know this is silly, I’m really excited to have a chance to go to Disneyland again.  I didn’t think I’d be able to for a long while.

At the same time, it’s going to be really hard to say goodbye to my friends here.  Especially since things are so up in the air right now.  Now that I think about it, only two people really know how up in the air it is.  And one of them didn’t know until about an hour ago.  And I don’t know if I’ll even be able to say goodbye to some people, what with finals and just general busy…ness.  And if I don’t get to say goodbye, and then I don’t come back. ..well.  That’ll just suck.

I’m gonna miss everyone.  Especially Jeremy.  But that goes without saying.

Even with all this though, I’m really glad to be going home.

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