I have a problem with road rage.  I don’t mean that I dislike people with road rage.  I mean I tend to get really mad while I’m driving.  Most often it’s worse when I’m coming home from work, but in general I get really annoyed with people really easily.  And 9 times out of 10 it starts with some jerk not using a turn signal.

I love my turn signal.  I use it obsessively.  I use it in parking lots.  I use it when absolutely no one else is around and it doesn’t even really matter.  I use it a lot.  I don’t know if it’s my Disney brainwashing training, but I find myself becoming more and more concerned with treating other people with courtesy every day.  I also feel the need to be, yanno, safe.  Hence, turn signals.  Not only that, but most of the time, unless I really have to pee and I’m driving to a bathroom, I’ll let you into my lane.  Assuming, of course, you let me know of your intent to merge by using a TURN SIGNAL (or hand signal, I guess).  I almost always slow down to make room for people.  I’m really nice, I swear!  But if you don’t let me know that you’re trying to get over, I’m just going to continue at my current speed.  Makes sense, right?  So when you just whip in front of me, on a whim, causing me to slam on my brakes (okay, maybe not slam but definitely  not a gradual slow down) it really pisses me off.  You’re taking advantage of me without even giving me a chance to let you into the lane!  I don’t appreciate that.  And then half of the time you almost kill me in the process!  Is getting around the slowpoke in front of you really worth my life?  I certainly hope not.  And, while I rarely do this, if I honk at you to remind you that I’m exist, please don’t make rude gestures to me in your rear view mirror.  Again, you almost killed me.  I should be flipping YOU off.  I’m merely peering up and saying in a small voice “Please don’t kill me giant truck!”.  Honestly, my car’s horn is so wimpy it should make you laugh, not anger you.

Man, you should see me getting pissed at these people sometimes.  I turn into SUCH a potty mouth.  I say things I never thought I was creative enough to say.  I really shock myself sometimes.  And sometimes, if it’s not too crowded on the freeway, I end up whipping around them and speeding ahead of them, just to prove a point…or whatever.  I don’t know why I do it.  I’m just so MAD!  And it makes ME unsafe.  So stop cutting me off!

I think I’m going to attach a PA system to my car, like cops have, so I can say “turn signal please!”  That’s more to the point than honking.  The only problem is that I’d probably end up using it to verbally throw down.

Do you always stay calm, cool, and collected while driving?  Or do you have specific triggers too?


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