I’ve never been the type  to get antsy.  I’ve always been a creature of comfort, if you will.  Yeah I might get bored with my hair or want to rearrange my room every once and awhile, but overall I’ve always been satisfied.  Heck, even when I was super excited to move away for school, it was not because I was sick of where I was.  I was just excited.

But I think I’ve learned what my limit is without some sort of major change.  And I think it’s about 4 years.  Because I have had enough of where I am in life.  In the past 4 and a half years I’ve moved 4 times, all within 30 minutes of each other.  I’ve had one job, which is generally really fun, and I love it.  I’ve had..well, actually I’ve had two-ish boyfriends.  And I’m very happy with my current relationship.  My parents moved 500 miles away, as did my dearest Aunt and Uncle.  My best friend moved to Florida, and almost all of my friends have either graduated or gotten married, or at least engaged.  And I’m just here.  And something has got to give.

It’s a weird feeling.  I feel like I should be sad, and sometimes I am.  More stressed than sad actually.  I have nothing to really complain about.  I have some financial woes but honestly if I were just smarter with my money I wouldn’t struggle as much, and I could always get a second job.  I have some body image issues but so does everyone.  I’m very eager to get married, but I know that I need to be patient, and I know that J is taking steps to make the ring a reality.  I know that a lot of people would love to work where I do, and I know very specific people who would love to take my role as a lead, and I am sure it bothers them when I complain about something they want so badly.  I don’t know what my deal is.  I’m just done here.

First of all, I want to go back to school and get that shit squared away, but I cannot afford to, and my job requires that I work a certain amount that won’t really work with school.  Even if I worked less…then I wouldn’t be able to pay rent…. Which brings me to the fact that I am ready to get away from my area at work.  In reality, what I really want is to quit, but maybe a transfer would be enough to keep me satisfied for a bit.  I truly never even imagined working here this long, and now I feel stuck.

I need to be closer to my family.  Too bad I can’t just transfer up there.  Maybe the company should build a location up in that area.  I’d totally be on board.

I need a change.  Badly.


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