Sometimes you fall off the writing wagon. Inevitably, the guilt of looking at your sad abandoned blog will eat away at your soul. You’ll throw yourself into work so that your mind doesn’t turn into total mush, but eventually you’ll run out of things to do on your days off, and your brain will start nagging at you to write. But…you don’t wanna! Who knows why… You might be embarrassed to start randomly posting again when you’ve been absent so long… You might have no inspiration; maybe all you can think of are negative topics (and you’ve whined enough on your blog…) Or maybe you just really can’t be bothered. Here are some tips I’ve found to distract yourself just long enough that your day is wasted and there’s not enough time to write.
- Look at your favorited videos on Youtube and become re-obsessed with videos you loved in 2008.
- Paint your nails and wait 2 hours before you touch anything to make super sure they’re dry.
- Look for a new apartment online even though you don’t need to move and don’t have the means to move right now.
- Watch episodes of The Golden Girls that you’ve straight up memorized already.
“I have too many earrings…” will be on my grave.
- Put your hair in a bun. Decide that it’s too tight and it’s giving you a headache. Take it down and put it in a side braid. Get irritated by a loose hair tickling your ear. Repeat forever.
- Look for something to snack on even though you aren’t hungry. After 20 minutes, determine that you have no food.
- Read an article on a feminist website and feel empowered.
- Raise your blood pressure by reading the comments on that article. Resist the urge to murder the world.
- Read someone else’s perfect blog about their perfect life and feel really shitty about yourself for about a week.
- Finally sit down to write a blog post and spend half an hour deciding which Spotify playlist to listen to.
There you have it! How to avoid writing a new post for your sad, lonely, little blog. Remember that these tips can be applied to just about any project you’re avoiding. They are 100% guaranteed to work…trust me, I’m an expert. And be sure to look for my second list of tips, coming…uh…later.